I realised I always post about my thoughts and reasonings about life and world and shit so I'm going to post about events this time. Haha. If not when I look back at my archive when I'm old and senile, I will not even be able to recall what had happened that gave rise to such (amazing) revelations ?_?
The week before CNY had seen me in an unusually emotional and hyper sensitive state. I was bummed out by the littlest of things and the dust/sand in the air got to my eyes a lot...haha. Thankfully, a meet-up with my beloved floorball coach back in RV days helped me pull my shit together :-) and things took a turn for the better!
We had really good conversations that night and Coach's wise words made me understand a little more about myself, again. She said that I'm a very sensitive person yet I am insensitive in my speech. Sometimes she really felt like whacking me for whatever nonsense that came out of my mouth. LOL. Well, this certainly rings some truth. Remember awhile ago, I mentioned how careless I am with my words and regardless of the lack of intention to insult one's character, a highly sensitive person often take my fleeting remarks/momentous jokes to heart. (There's nothing wrong with being highly sensitive btw!!) Yet, I am sensitive in the way that I can detect the fluctuations in one's emotions easily. So when someone is hurt by my words, I will immediately notice it. Is this ironic? Haha. If I am truly sensitive, I should have known what is offensive and restrained myself from making outrageous statements in the first place right?
Half-baked sensitivity, sigh. But believe me, I am working to improve myself!! :-)
Also, a statement made by Coach struck me in my face: "The world is dying in 10 years." She asked us to look at the world we are living in now. ISIS. Terrorist attacks. Environmental degradation. Resource depletion. "Civilisation is dying." It kind of spooked us because it's such a serious topic and the night atmosphere (and my heavy heart) made me feel like I'm living in a nightmare. Haha. Ultimately, her point is, we should cherish what we have in the present. Let bygones be bygones. Life has to go on no matter what bad things have happened. This, certainly reminds me of the importance of my family.
We often forget that people have limited time on the earth. Everyone is going to die, eventually. It is saddening to dwell upon it but it's a fact that we overlook.
“Everybody knows they’re going to die, but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently,’ Morrie said. ‘So we kid ourselves about death,’ I (Mitch) said. ‘Yes, but there’s a better approach. To know you’re going to die and be prepared for it at any time. That’s better. That way you can be actually be more involved in your life while you’re living. . . Every day, have a little bird on your shoulder that asks, ‘Is today the day? Am I ready? Am I doing all I need to do? Am I being the person I want to be?... The truth is, Mitch, once you learn how to die, you learn how to live… Most of us walk around as if we’re sleepwalking. We really don’t experience the world fully because we’re half asleep, doing things we automatically think we have to do… Learn how to die, and you learn how to live.” - Tuesday with Morrie
This CNY, I'm glad to say I've spent quality time with my family :-) On the eve of CNY, I had lessons till 4. I was the last to make it home. Only my dad stayed to wait for me as the rest of my family had gone to Malaysia for reunion dinner. We then took his bike into M'sia. On the way, it started pouring cats and dogs and in no time, we were both drenched before we even reached the custom. We stopped for a while under an overhead bridge and I was momentarily touched that my dad did not utter a single word of complaint (he's usually very naggy and hot-tempered). He did not even blame me for reaching home late and landing us in this situation. HOW RARE. Okay later when we reached the house in Malaysia I realised he was having a cough which kind of explained why he didn't nag HAHA but still!! Feeling my dad's selfless love for me :')
On CNY eve, we had a simple reunion dinner at home and then the next day, my family of five went to dad's hometown at Malacca. Alicia, my cousin who is studying medicine in India, actually skipped a week of classes to be back here HAHA. And she told me she has lessons from 7am to 5pm every day even on Saturday?! WOW madness. She even volunteers at shelter homes on Sunday. Much Respect.
On CNY eve, we had a simple reunion dinner at home and then the next day, my family of five went to dad's hometown at Malacca. Alicia, my cousin who is studying medicine in India, actually skipped a week of classes to be back here HAHA. And she told me she has lessons from 7am to 5pm every day even on Saturday?! WOW madness. She even volunteers at shelter homes on Sunday. Much Respect.
Yep! This is her :-) The future bright doctor working for the Malaysian government. It is not easy man. Listening to her schedule made me so thankful for the flexibility and freedom I have here in Singapore and at the same time, guilty for not making the best out of everything I am doing. I believe everybody knows that time is limited but knowing is one thing, doing something about is another :/ I am still struggling to do the best I can!
Cousins from my father's side. The Yongs! Missing 3 other guys - Bryan, Alwyne and Jasber. You spot that very very tanned lady behind me? LOL. That's my oldest cousin, Georgina. And she has yet to make a passport...terrible.
We stayed only for a night then we went to my mother's side at a Kampung.
I really love this picture! Out of all the dark clouds, there is this mass of cloud with warm orange tint. It's as if it has engulfed the sun. Idk why, but it gives me hope :-)
Not forgetting my cute little cousins heh. This is Xixi, the youngest girl! She was saying "hor hor" to somebody HAHA over something very small.
And yeah, I posted a photo on instagram of my cute littlest boy cousin of them playing 老鹰抓小鸡. They were all so adorable :') Really witnessed the innocence of children at that moment. When they are happy, they just smile and laugh into the air. When they don't get the things they want, they pout, they sulk, they cry, they kick up a fuss. They do not repress feelings. They are so pure and genuine :') I guess that's why as we grow older, we grow to like interacting with kids and hearing about their lofty dreams and aspirations haha. Even though we know they will change with time~ that tiny spark in their eyes when they talk about their ambitions is so precious :-) Conversations with kids are so heartwarming sometimes, that you will look past their rowdiness and embrace them entirely. I totally look forward to the kukup trip next month. The whole of my extended family from my mum's side will be going together! More photos of them the next time heh.
After four days in Malaysia, I came back just in time for annual steamboat at Kristal's house with C'Div 08. This has got to be one of my two longest standing groups of friends!
This is the 9th year we are doing this! Well, I wouldn't say things are still the same. We have all changed a little here and there, but the warm feeling when we get together is still there :-) Missing Lois this year because she's away for exchange in Sweden, and Eva is still studying in the States. Of course, I can't be close to everyone at a personal level in the group but they are close to me as a package. Haha. Life would have been dull without them.
So far, 2015 has been rather kind. Like I said, I am still working on improving myself and there are moments I feel drained out and there are days I don't feel like trying. I am better at controlling my emotions now and I choose to be more level-headed. It's not the same as sweeping feelings under the rug, it's about keeping myself centered and stable. Last but not least, I've learnt that as we grow up, good decisions are made based on our values rather than our selfish wants.
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