Ma and Pa

Recently, my plover and I had a weighty discussion on upbringing. I can't remember how we got there but I guess it started with us talking about money. How do we get a lot of money from doing what we like to do in life? You kinda can't get the best of both worlds unless you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth - you get a strong headstart in life.

At the tender age of 3, you're probably sent to piano, dance, swimming lessons. You're probably taught to have good mannerisms, how to show poise in company, and never to shout across the living room. You probably receive regular dental care, have your braces done before you learn the word 'metamorphosis'. You have probably started networking with successful people even before you learn the importance of networking. 

Now, I'm not saying that this is a stress-free and easy life. Of course, every kind of life offers different responsibilities to bear. But Maslow will agree with me that at the very least, privileged people do not have to fret over their most basic physiological needs. They have disposable income to groom themselves, to make the necessary adjustments to keep up with the ever-changing society, to accumulate wealth for future generations. People from the lower income families, on the other hand, lack access to gain technical skills that can make them stand out from others. A child may be musically inclined but her talent is not discovered and potential is not maximised because she does not get to go for classes like a child from a rich family does. A child may have talent in swimming but her parents never have the time to teach her or send her for lessons. A child can probably pick these skills up online but lack the money to buy the necessary equipment. She could be discouraged by her family from doing anything else other than studying because the only way to get out of poverty and into the upper middle class in this meritocratic society is to study. Studying, seems to be the only chance, the saving grace. By the time the child matures into a young adult, what she does best is studying. With that tiny bit of savings she has, she then proceeds to turn her wants to pick up more musical instruments and a few other life skills into reality. 

Well, I am not trying to paint a negative image at all. A person can choose to complain about her family background or turn the odds to her favour. 

A low or average income family may not be able to teach a child as many skills as a high-income family during her childhood years, but it can nonetheless give the child a good upbringing. When done right, it can help the child develop independence and resilience. It can teach the child to be politie, courteous and kind to people because people have to help one another to survive. It can teach the child that she has to fight for what she wants herself as nothing comes free in life. In the future, she knows to use her own money to learn those skills and polish herself. Even though she may be 5 or 10 steps behind others, she is not disheartened. She keeps moving and she'll never develop an inertia. 

My father is a kind man.

My mother is a strong woman. 

I am thankful to be born into this family no matter how many skeletons we have hidden in the closet.