Recently, I have been thinking about courage. I'm thinking if a person is born braver than the others. You know, whether courage is something innate and you can't change it, or that it can nurtured. If you are brave, you will always be. Otherwise, you'll always remain timid. For myself, I don't think that I'm born brave.
Also, I was just wondering about the relationship between intelligence and bravery. The intelligence I am talking about here is not the ability to solve algebraic equations at first glance, but more of the sensitivity of one's mind and the ability to consider things from different perspectives. I was toying with this idea: the smarter you are, the more considerations you have, the more you're afraid to lose, and hence the less courageous you become. In contrast, fools seem to be much braver because they don't think, or they think simply. They act on their instincts, and sometimes by a stroke of luck, they achieve desired outcomes that 'smart' people would never have.
Then, I had an enlightening conversation with a friend at work and she set my mind straight.
Me: Do you think that someone becomes braver when he/she thinks less? Like, if he/she is a fool.
Her: Mmm what do you mean..I don't see a link between courage and intelligence. They are two separate things. Fools act because they don't think, not because they are brave.
And she went on to share this Game Of Thrones quote with me: "Bran thought about it. "Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?" "That's the only time a man can be brave."His father says."
Her: You can only be brave when you have fear. There has to be the contrast. When you are stupid, you don't fear. So you don't even get the opportunity to be brave.
Wise words uh. She is right. To fear, you must have evaluated the situation and are uncertain of the odds. You are then brave if you choose to take the risk in spite of being afraid. Fools don't. I found a supporting quote online afterwards: “If you fear nothing, then you are not brave. You are merely too foolish to be afraid.” It may appear to be common sense, but really, it is something we often overlook. Fear and Bravery are two different concepts. It is not a zero-sum game. Being brave does not mean being unafraid, and vice versa.
Nowadays, there are so many songs and articles that mislead people to see themselves as fools when they fight for love. There is this song where the lyrics go "I'm such a fool for you". It seems to imply that the protagonist finds herself stupid for going all out when love did not work out for her in the end.
I beg to differ. You don't fight for love because you are stupid or you are immune to the hurt it can cause you. In fact, you always know exactly what you are in for. The things that matter to you can always hurt you. You love someone, you're afraid of losing them. You love your passion, you're afraid of failing. Fear is indeed a very strong emotion. You're afraid of rejections because these things mean so much to you, but you push yourself to fight for them anyway. "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear" — Nelson Mandela. Even if you do get rejected, it does not mean you were stupid for trying. You fight for love despite knowing the risks it entails. To overcome the fear and do something you feel so strongly for is an achievement in itself :-)
So maybe the next time we encourage our loved ones, instead of telling them to not be afraid, tell them to be brave. Tell them it's okay to be afraid because that means that thing really matters a lot to them, but BE BRAVE. Following this train of thoughts, I realise we always give terrible advice to our friends: "Aiya. Just don't think so much la". It IS a terrible advice..HAHAHA. Because duh, she may stop thinking at this moment but when she's alone with her own demons, she's gonna continue overthinking. I guess.. what we can do is to think, thinkthinkthinkthinkthink, to be fearful, and to be brave.
Then, another friend at work contributed to our discussion and added another dimension to it. He drew a triangle: Caring - Intelligence - Bravery
Him: Sometimes you don't act not because you're not brave, not because you're stupid, but because you are compassionate. You care for the person and you don't want to hurt her. For example, I like a girl who is attached. I don't go after her not because I don't dare to, but because I don't want to spoil her relationship. It takes courage to put your interests aside for someone else. And then my girl friend rolled her eyes at him hahahaha. I feel that he made a point though! The 3 characteristics may not have direct causal effect on one another, but they are intricately linked.
Any thoughts?
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don't you tell them the truth?
This cover mashup is soooooooo good!!
Say what you need to say
You'd better know that in the endIts better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again
Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open
My brains are actually hurting from thinking about how to write this post in the least confusing manner. Omg. Hahahah.
Also, I was just wondering about the relationship between intelligence and bravery. The intelligence I am talking about here is not the ability to solve algebraic equations at first glance, but more of the sensitivity of one's mind and the ability to consider things from different perspectives. I was toying with this idea: the smarter you are, the more considerations you have, the more you're afraid to lose, and hence the less courageous you become. In contrast, fools seem to be much braver because they don't think, or they think simply. They act on their instincts, and sometimes by a stroke of luck, they achieve desired outcomes that 'smart' people would never have.
Then, I had an enlightening conversation with a friend at work and she set my mind straight.
Me: Do you think that someone becomes braver when he/she thinks less? Like, if he/she is a fool.
Her: Mmm what do you mean..I don't see a link between courage and intelligence. They are two separate things. Fools act because they don't think, not because they are brave.
And she went on to share this Game Of Thrones quote with me: "Bran thought about it. "Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?" "That's the only time a man can be brave."His father says."
Her: You can only be brave when you have fear. There has to be the contrast. When you are stupid, you don't fear. So you don't even get the opportunity to be brave.
Wise words uh. She is right. To fear, you must have evaluated the situation and are uncertain of the odds. You are then brave if you choose to take the risk in spite of being afraid. Fools don't. I found a supporting quote online afterwards: “If you fear nothing, then you are not brave. You are merely too foolish to be afraid.” It may appear to be common sense, but really, it is something we often overlook. Fear and Bravery are two different concepts. It is not a zero-sum game. Being brave does not mean being unafraid, and vice versa.
Nowadays, there are so many songs and articles that mislead people to see themselves as fools when they fight for love. There is this song where the lyrics go "I'm such a fool for you". It seems to imply that the protagonist finds herself stupid for going all out when love did not work out for her in the end.
I beg to differ. You don't fight for love because you are stupid or you are immune to the hurt it can cause you. In fact, you always know exactly what you are in for. The things that matter to you can always hurt you. You love someone, you're afraid of losing them. You love your passion, you're afraid of failing. Fear is indeed a very strong emotion. You're afraid of rejections because these things mean so much to you, but you push yourself to fight for them anyway. "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear" — Nelson Mandela. Even if you do get rejected, it does not mean you were stupid for trying. You fight for love despite knowing the risks it entails. To overcome the fear and do something you feel so strongly for is an achievement in itself :-)
So maybe the next time we encourage our loved ones, instead of telling them to not be afraid, tell them to be brave. Tell them it's okay to be afraid because that means that thing really matters a lot to them, but BE BRAVE. Following this train of thoughts, I realise we always give terrible advice to our friends: "Aiya. Just don't think so much la". It IS a terrible advice..HAHAHA. Because duh, she may stop thinking at this moment but when she's alone with her own demons, she's gonna continue overthinking. I guess.. what we can do is to think, thinkthinkthinkthinkthink, to be fearful, and to be brave.
Then, another friend at work contributed to our discussion and added another dimension to it. He drew a triangle: Caring - Intelligence - Bravery
Him: Sometimes you don't act not because you're not brave, not because you're stupid, but because you are compassionate. You care for the person and you don't want to hurt her. For example, I like a girl who is attached. I don't go after her not because I don't dare to, but because I don't want to spoil her relationship. It takes courage to put your interests aside for someone else. And then my girl friend rolled her eyes at him hahahaha. I feel that he made a point though! The 3 characteristics may not have direct causal effect on one another, but they are intricately linked.
Any thoughts?
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don't you tell them the truth?
This cover mashup is soooooooo good!!
Say what you need to say
You'd better know that in the endIts better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again
Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open
My brains are actually hurting from thinking about how to write this post in the least confusing manner. Omg. Hahahah.
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