Sometimes, I hate that I am so acutely aware of why I feel the way I do.

I know, it's outrageous for me to say so. Who wouldn't like to be able to rationalise their feelings, right?

I hate it because, well because, even though I know the reasons and hence the possible methods to make myself stop feeling this way, there's not a single thing I want to change about it. 

No, I don't want to.